Gain from Pain.

And they did it again
Piercing their way through my heart
Mastering at every stage their art
Of what little they knew, it did for me pain

For every inch they chipped away
Appeared the next day a mile
And how it did in style
Poor souls, they were in such disarray

Little did they know
With every setback
I am only perfecting my track
after all my undefeatable Spirit can take any blow

Regain - it will a bit slow
But boy, how it will after that Glow!
For the response to such moments define a man
If he is destined to be tougher than the clan

it is only then a matter of span
after all it was always part of the plan.

A Diamond to shine!

They say, every message, every thought, comes at the right point of time; certainly indeed to the right person. Its never a second late or early - at the same time, its not to your neighbour or to your relative.

Attempting to 'file life' into specific areas of reasoning or analytically adapting once's senses to interpret incidents around us is one 'divine' difficulty in this materialistic world of ours. Having got the time to do that, and to reach out to others to help with the decoding of the DNA of our life's chronology of incidents, there indeed seems to be some ultimate motive behind it all.

The drama we enact, has a racy screenplay, only that we know it only scene by scene. Aspirations on knowing how it will all end or how it could end is mostly beyond the powers of human comprehension. Or atleast thats where the limits of our 'conscious comprehension' end.

The journey of our souls - transmeating across different body forms - as explained in my earlier blog - 'Sarvam Anityam'; is indeed graded against certain levels of understanding or competence, forming the 'cut-off' point for moving to the next stage of enlightenment. All of us reading this blog, are in one such phase. Quite certain, most dont know or dont realise this, difference between 'knowing' and 'realising' detailing the fine line of 'reviving one's inner divinity'.

Its just like a switch in us, which lights our soul, making it look beyond the materialistic world and even beyond the reach of flesh and blood. That superior purpose is why we are all living for.
A millionaire never necessarily will influence the gradation of his life's value against that ultimate purpose of learning. Nor would a poor man have a quota towards the same.

Its all fair in life. To one and all.

Tough to defend in a scientific discussion, hard to prove in day light - there indeed exists a concept called 'reincarnation'. The closest we come to this, is in certain movies. But the reality is we are all acting in one such 'reincarnated' role, in one such mega movie; OURSELVES. For some, it may be just a few times, for others the time taken might be longer. But in all, we are all donning a new face, a new set of human relations, a new set of situations. The core US is still the same.

'Dasavatharam' or ten avatars (in translation) is probably the minimum number of reincarnations one soul has to undertake. For the journey to purfying it, isnt easy and takes time and effort, in the right direction and at the right time. We all have a diamond inside us. The same size, same shape. The effort into purifying our souls, manifests itself into 'shining one face of this diamond'. Thats simply why, one person is different from the other. The number of surfaces shining in one, will not be the same as the other. But in effect, we are all the same, when we reach the final act of 'complete purification'.

Aatman or the 'living soul' can become Paramatman or the 'ultimate soul'. Just a word needs to change here. Time taken would simply be a minimum of 'Dasavatharam'. Not only for Kamal Hassan, for the rest as well.

Bond to Billa!

The exertions of a 'well used to' lifestyle can be far-reaching when you step out of it. That was and is my feeling in the past few weeks. Having moved away from snowy London to the 'Land of the Hot Sun' - Chennai, the transformation is much bigger than what I had given it room for.

When you lose something, it doesnt just go away in a second, it slowly starts to fade away. Like the gentle water current carrying the lotus away, a metre an hour. Have got to a mode of 'forgetting' what happened in London - work/life and otherwise... memories come to me now and then.. but then they are on the decline.

A new city, new lifestyle, new role - thats called a 'package' of purpose. Much needs to be seen as to how I am going to come in terms with these alterations in my 'carbon foot print'. Atif Aslam has become my new soulmate singer. Having heard him first time with the 'Tere Bin' song, he has helped me go across different spheres of emotions - especially during this 'change over' phase. Enroute to office today - heard one of his songs on FM, and much has to be said about his influence on getting me to react and express my interflicting points of view in my own sphere of influence.

While this phase will go, for sure and I will get used to life in India, there are those faces and minds - with whom I have worked through issues - big and small - over the 1000 day era; faces with exceptional minds and even better comraderie. They will not be forgotten, not today, not ever. Honestly thats the edge of the sword piercing through me - as can be said - the edge is the one which makes the most impact. Life is always only as worth as the quality of the people with whom we spend it!!

My sun gods - though are in vicinity. Rahman and Rajni are all over the place - thanks to the power of the box called 'television' and its spouse - 'cable tv'. Not much unpacking has started as yet, and thats going to also take its toll - when artifacts of the previous 'era' are going to haunt their way through my memory cells, revitalising the moments which can be frozen for a lifetime.

'Bond to Billa' is the road taken - whether some U-turns are possible or it is strictly one-way, nobody is sure of it. Neither am I. (For the sake of the western audience - 'Billa' is the name of a RAJNI action movie; and Bond is ofcourse 007)

For now, the F-WORD is to 'Follow the flow'. Inspiringly enough, its not too rapid.

Be the change!

A normal routine each day. Take the train from my home and go North and then, by the time you have got comfortable and are moving to the inner zone of your morning meditation (read 'snooze'); at Kennington, forced you indeed are to switch over to the platform beside and wait for the Charing Cross branch. (I always end up taking the Bank branch, call it co-incidence or conspiracy.)

It was one such un-impressive journeys, a few days back, and the train halted at Oval. In came a lady with a dog. She came in and was helped with the heavy dog by a co-passenger. Once she got in, the person sitting on the corner seat, gave her a place, the gentleman he proved to be. The lady made the huge black dog sit down near her feet. She made sure that the dog wasnt blocking the way or touching the by-sitter's legs.

By this time, the train had started moving and I was standing across this lady, standing near the pathway door, between the coaches. I was looking at her with quiet intent, not because she was beautiful, not because she had a good dog, but because she was smiling with what seemed 'inner happiness'. A pleasant smile, it was indeed. She seemed to know something which was different, something which was so reflective of pure satisfaction. Probably she was enjoying her train ride or she was going to meet someone important and was happy - I will never know. As I kept looking at her, she wasnt looking back at me. She simply couldnt. She was blind.

There are moments which freeze in your life, moments which you really dont understand much from, but still know 'just about enough' to realize its teaching you something significant. This was one of them.

In the land of America, Obama was having a tough time with the media on his pastor and his blunt comments, pro-racist and anti-american. And the noose was getting tighter by the day. News channels were scanning the pastor and his speeches 10 times per hour. It seemed like this was more important than anything else to the American news editor. Sitting on my sofa couch, I was following this story keenly and was disappointed Obama was getting the rough end of the stick. It obviously wasnt fair.

The tide turns. Obama marks the time and the hour to make his 'retaliatory' speech. Its aptly called the 'race and unity' speech. I had come back from work, that day, and was trying to scan how the speech went, and finally got a youtube link and was seeing him deliver it. Surely, it wasnt an ordinary speech - political or american. There was a much more significant and 'basic' message in the words he uttered. The chronology of events were all coined up in the best possible way, so were his body language and the way he orated, going about, from 200 years back to this day.

Aptly, this speech, is suggested, as being 'the speech of our generation'. It has evoked a response far too significant, and far too historical. Stunning was the reaction to see it live - I felt like he was just 'too good' to be a human. He truly had his MOMENT of RECKONING.

The two contrasting episodes, only made my brain cells work overtime. Here was one lady, who could have easily fallen into the vaccuum of the 'unseen' world but was living life as normal and still managing the 'most' pleasant of smiles one can ever see. Here was a man, who delivers a speech, which comes out not just addressing the current problem, he is faced with, but has all the right words and meanings to be placed in 'history's place of honour'.

Both of them are fighting their own challenges. As is typical with every human, we always think our problems are the worst. But the beauty of it all is that they dont think they will lose and they hence wont. They know they have to change the world, but to initiate that, they become the medium for change.

'Be the change' is their motto, inked in the unspoken smile here and emphasised by the uttered speech there. But its only all the same. When it comes to action, both have won their wars hands down. Both are equal heroes in my 'hall of fame'.

By their actions, both have changed their lives, their immediate environment and inspired many people in their generation like me. A simple step, taken in the right direction, never sounded light. Its always heavy and has helped guide others towards it too.

The Sabbath Hour!

Super Tuesday 2 came and went. In Australia, India went on to snub the 'cry babies' of their napkin award. History in the making certainly, but this tour was so acrimonious from the first day the Indians left for Australia - the victory is sweeter million times over. Ofcourse thats the Indian in me digging in!!

Harbhajan has become the kind of revolutionary player, and anything said or hurting him has transcended to every Indian as a personal insult. Strange as it sounds, I was not too happy to see the Australian fans booing him on the fence. But what matters is who has the final laugh. India has truly accorded this victory second only to the world cup win. The kangaroo has been reigned in and its the era of the Tiger. The Indian Tiger!! - ironically, the 'animal' species is supposedly on the decline in the subcontinent!

Across the Pacific, Obama lost Texas and Ohio, but still managed to maintain the delegate lead over Clinton. I guess in that sense, its a draw here. No concrete win to either little Dave or mighty Golly.

As I sat pondering over where my next blog was going to come from, I had to answer some queries which have come my way in the past few days. Some of the readers think that it takes me ages to write a blog. Well, to get the facts right, it takes 30-45 min to write one blog, complete with all editions - the small exclamation and the final fullstop. So please stop moaning that I have too much time at my disposal for getting this blog up and running.

The fact is that, every single one of us has enough time to do that ONE activity - outside work, outside family - which makes us feel satisfied when we hit the bed at nite. The one activity which keeps us going within ourselves ; doing justice to the 'hidden' talents, to the very basic meaning of 'genetic variation' that gives us our individuality - truly and simply!!

Call it a habit of doing crosswords on the way to work - trying to read some books day in day out - regularly watch that one tv serial, enjoining the emotions it brings out - dancing to good music - watering plants like there is a drought on earth - blogging your heart out - sports activities during the weekend - swimming a mile a day - the list is endless.

What translates into this habit of ours is an outcome of our 'reptilian' instincts. This activity will help us either feel confident about ourselves or help bring out the positives 'intellectual-wise', something which we need to keep the inner glow going. Close your eyes for a moment and you will immediately realise that UNIQUE activity - the gateway to our INNER HEAVEN.

Ok. We know what we need to do. Whats the conversion ratio like here? Pathetic and appalling. Why is it so? Quite easy to say this. Its become a hidden rule these days, that to spend time for oneself is not that encouraged as it could be. The average Indian woman, finds it difficult to take time every day, out of the busy schedule which engulfs her. Husband, children take her for a jolly ride and she gets on board due diligently. I would say, she is the one who needs a break most importantly, to help refresh herself a bit.

Men are not that far off. Maybe they are running behind completing tomorrow's task by today evening or they are planning of day after's meeting. Its always becomes thinking of 'whats next' that 'the present' becomes a pre-extension of 'the future'. Not that I blame them for it.

This is the nature of the game we call 'Life'. Onsite, on the third rock from the sun, its all about how the solar system operates. If only the earth was a bit slow in revolving around the sun, one day wouldnt exactly stop at 24 hours. That might just mean, that we probably get, say an hour, the SABBATH hour, to do the activity which will keep our internal engines running with a spirit of joy and satisfaction.

The SABBATH hour. To those who believe they can slow down 'mother earth' to get extra time, the editor recommends a good doctor in your locality. But for those who want to live within the constraints and yet find this hour, well, its all about your willingness to let go of something very low in the 'daily priority chart' - which can be done tomorrow.

No one will know that the task has been put on hold. No one neednt care either. Its your life and you know whats best for you. Married, single or mingling! The divine fact is that today will never come again. If you can do anything to keep yourself happy, the difference you will make around you will easily double or triple.

Whether you sign in to save the INDIAN 'TIGER' or not, first sign in to save 'yourself' and let your heart smile. A smile that has been rightfully earned. BY YOU AND YOU ONLY.

40 minutes.

Playing God!

Not a day goes by when we dont think/thank/curse or blame God. If anything by that description exists, is a totally different perspective. The fact is that we do include and embrace this concept as if it were an extension of our day-to-day life. Life, in its truest manifest is really a miracle, no one denies - but to 'offshore' its success to a '3rd Party' source called 'God' isnt 100% fair. It wasnt fair during the days of the Harappa culture, nor it is in our current 'nuclear' landscape.

Nothing of this thought was in my mind when we went out to have fun at the pottery class in Merton Abbey. The one hour journey it was, it revealed a lot more than just pots and pans. It all starts with a piece of 'clay' - something which we can easily ignore if found in a dirty road corner. How often have we seen this in odd places, never to even consider it worth thinking about!!!

When this totally irrelevant and insignificant thing was placed in the centre of a wheel - even then nothing major was different about it. Start the motor and then - lo' behold - you are creating 'something' out of 'perceived nothing'. The first few moments would be dealt in creating a solid base and then you go about expanding your dreams and thats creativity at its finesse.

Its only a matter of time when the right composition of 'water','clay' 'circular motion' and most importantly - 'your intent' helps create a totally valuable thing. Its as good as bringing something to life. Initiating life, is how I would term it. Once this blueprint is done, its time to take it off and then let it dry and settle. The shine would be applied over this piece in a matter of a few days. Thats when it takes one of its many positions in someone's world as 'my nanny's favorite tea set' or 'my doggy's food plate', as the case maybe. Thats light years from where it all started!

My wife created a very good bowl, but when she was trying to take it off the wheel, probably a minor dent was made to the outer surface. She was very specific about it as she knew it had happened. To me, it was invisible as the ether that surrounds us. I never saw it. To clarify, even if I did manage to see it, I wouldnt have thought of it from an 'imperfection' perspective.

'Zoom out a bit' and look at each human as starting off as that piece of clay. The right amount of 'ingredients' are put to create his core constituent - soul - and the next steps are to expand laterally into other spheres of 'individual personality'. No two humans are the same, neither are two bowls. All of us have some imperfections, caused intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes these 'not good enough' qualities in us might not be looked at, in the same way, by others.

Irrespective of what we have in us as 'pre-paid', we can always 'top-up' our lives, by finding ourselves different situations, in which we best-apply the 'messages' of 'our mobile life' - making the experience worth it to others. Even the material world we live in, tells us this simple thing all the time. The Karmic life was always preaching this even before the wheel started spinning.

The wheel of God!

Every aspect of why we are, has a reason and cant be changed. But nothing of what we can be, has a cut-off limit. The eagle never touched the sky and never will! The waves never got tired of 'reaching out' to the shore. Simple things in nature reveal the power within. Understand this and move on to make your dream and all the while, reach out to as many people as possible and touch their lives for the better. In simpler words, start 'playing God'.

If you play it seriously enough, this is probably the one game which wont just end...not today...not tomorrow!!!

The Karnan checkmate!

A lot of times, we tend to identify who our friends are, by the way they interact with us. Friendship is literally the most common opportunity of a 'mind' to connect to another. That extra thought, that extra smile, that little help to show that he/she cares is all that makes friendship tick. Its not everyday that life goes through an up and down. People who tend to stick with you when they are up will not necessarily be the same crowd who will stick with you when the chips are down.

Now thats a fact and thats a fact underlined!

In today's fast paced world, expecting someone to help you, at times of need is a difficult proposition. Only the rarest of rare characters, out of the many lot, who would be with you in a moment of joy, will stand by you. There is this story of Karna - the mythological character in Mahabharat, who tends to express this point of view very well and till his death. Standing by Duryodhana through the thick times and thin, Karna epitomises the 'gratitude' and promise owed to one's friend. He is arguably a more powerful role model than the Pandavas, because his conviction and his character was tested more than them.

O' Maula Mere, where is my Karna. I only need one such person and I can overcome anything in this world, my heart felt through the last few days! Tough situations always tend to bring out the tougher person in me. And I am glad that this time, it also helped re-define my Karna'n sensex in the share market of 'friendship'. I am no Duryodhana, ofcourse! But I am sure, everyone of us would like to have that one person who will always be there for us when we need help.

Luckily in my case, most of the people whom I could turn to, were really true and helped me with a lot of advice and insight. All is not lost. All, except a few, whose locus has been plotted permanently outside my 'dosti' rekha....! How did I feel? Well, you know by instinct who is genuine and who isnt. I would really say, our heart felt feelings always need to be crosschecked with the 'mind' man inside us. Most often the latter would tell a few point blank truths.

Respect is certainly a 'two-way highway'. One must complete the circuit both ways within one's lifetime. 'Necessity' bound characters will always be around us, trying to exploit and use our resources for their needs. Identify such weeds and help save the farm from a poor harvest.

In this life of chess, everyone around us is either black or white. Identifying what colour they are will only become clear when its time to 'check'. Thats the moment of reckoning. Thats when you will feel yourself saying - "the Karnan checkmate!"

Rare words for a rare occasion.

Of food and fun!

After many an office party in the past few years, it was all but a routine thing to attend yet another party on 18th Jan. A reluctant heart, an open mind was all that was taken with me to the venue. The ambience was really rich and the restaurant did appeal to one and all with its style and splendour.

With tables spread around, it was literally a case of 'musical chairs', when I was sitting in one big circular table and finally ended up in one of the more 'used to' rectangular ones.

But then something was in the air. The energy levels were on the rise and from then on began a good sense of laughter - jokes left right and centre. Its not everyday that you get a group totally into fun and frolic, right from the word 'go'. This will surely go down as one of the more memorable moments of my time in London.

By the time food was served, our tummies were full of laughter, and then on, it was a matter of relishing food and fun all in one swoop. My table mates, thanks to you all for making this a very enjoyable evening. Much appreciated.

The desert was quite ok as was the rest of the food. This party, for one, will be remembered for that strange sense of happiness which engulfed us all, something which doesnt necessarily can be put into the trials of 'justification' or 'reasoning'.

A windy walk home, interspersed with some slow moving trains, made up the rest of the evening.

A wish come true for that ideal party. If you want to relish one such party yourself, all you need is an open mind and a relaxed frame of thought.

Of food and fun, indeed it was!

The DNA of Internet Friendship!

As I type, I am sitting in one of the many hotels in Singapore, in the cornermost room of the top floor. There is absolutely no one I have spoken to today using my vocal chords, except some work colleagues on my work assignment and the person at the restaurant I had lunch. But I have been in touch with a lot of people around the world and equally in the opposite direction.

Internet being the backbone, but GTalk and Yahoo Messengers have changed forever the way we behave and live. Now a days, its no longer the 'lets go for a walk..' syndrome of friendship. Life's dearer relationship has been reduced to a couple of lines here and there, some offline too.

Racing against timezones, and adapting to different work cultures and expectations has taken a lot out of our personal space and its going to be even worse in the coming years. The aspect of establishing a friendship circle spanning the globe is really a challenge and something which not too many ppl can claim success at. Seeing a person tete-en-tete and chatting to him/her are two contrasting ball games and internet and its magic tools cant get friendship any closer or make it more natural.

IT professionals especially, working in the odd places, odd enough to be alone, have to bear the brunt of the loneliness which surrounds them. Its a bit of luck to always have company to go places with. For me, I have always been happy to be alone. I realise that it gives me a lot of time to waste, but also the time to think back at things I want to improve upon. It gives me the room (literally speaking - a big one) to assess what mistakes I am making...!

Sitting in California, one of my good college friends has no time to reply back to my email. Obviously one cant feel disappointed in such a situation. Such is life. Out of Sight, Out of Mind is truly the truth. But its also interesting that chatting can make two strangers get along very well in very little time. I have to say, I did get to chat with some of my college friends, with whom I have never spoken anything friendly during our 4 years together, with the help of internet - we are quite able to converse and exchange ideas too!

Is internet and our new way of life, therefore, all about reaching to new people while our existing bank of friends get eroded silently. Is this all that is left for this generation to yearn for? Sites like Orkut have indeed brought together a platform to keep each other informed, but it does seem that gone are those days when one used to go out with all our friends in that remote place called pondicherry/pilani. Those times seem utopian indeed.

With every day that has passed, we all have missed saying a lot of things to each other, some good, some bad, but most importantly all 'timely'. Most of us are living a zone which only underlines the power of ONE or if you have a family, the strength of TWO.

Friends will come and go, but friendship stays - was the old saying.
Friendship will come and go, though friends wont - is probably the new mantra.

Nelson - a name echoed across generations.

It was a breezy weekend in October 2005. I was in my first few few days in London and was doing some sight-seeing all alone. It was all going on fine, until I stumbled upon China Town and eventually found my way to Trafalgar square. It was around 3 in the afternoon.

There seemed to be a lot of activity in TS at that time of the day. Not having anything else to do and not knowing anyone, I decided to hang on and watch what was happening.

The show was supposed to begin at 6:30 or so. One could see all kinds of army uniforms, navy uniforms, scottish military men in kilts and different stars and badges displayed with pride and honor.

I for one, had no idea of Nelson's historic background nor did I know anything of the battle of Trafalgar. Had a vague idea that it was a sea battle. By around 6:15 ish, it was decided to let everyone enter the square... earlier it was only allowed for ppl with valid invites.

I joined in with the other group of people and it was really going to be an exciting evening. Everyone around was so thrilled!!

It began at 6:30 sharp. There was all kinds of displays, from army men climbing down the walls of the National Gallery, to navy seals attempting a successful rescue mission. Finally it ended with a spectacular laser show. I had never seen such a rich and grand show in my entire life, in person!!


I left home with a great sense of happiness, of being part of something historic.

2 years on. Around October 2007, I was glancing through the book shelf of my local library and chanced upon a book on Nelson. Rekindling my interest in what really made him the hero he was, I took the chance to read it.

Nelson - soon became a character with whom I could relate, who soon became clear to me as someone who was worth appreciating as a hero.

The British never praise anyone to the hilt, unless there is something substantial to praise in him or her. It wasnt like being a sportsman in India, where one century or one victory in a quarter final game and you are heralded as the MAN OF THE DECADE!!!

Nelson - is one of the very few - I think - the British consider as the absolute hero. He is someone who displayed all the grand characteristics of an individual and rose to the occasion, served his country and eventually died in his hour of victory.

That there is a column marking Nelson right in the heart of London and 200 years hence, there is such a spectacular celebration meted out, is a testimony to the man, who died only to become immortal.

Nelson is someone who will remain the epitome of British culture for centuries to come. I am yet to finish this book, from what I have read, I cant really agree more.

(Part 1 ends.)